Tuesday, July 10, 2007

How Come I'm Different?

Before I start, let me warn you that this might turn out to be a little emo post. SO, if u have a good mood and doesnt want anything emo post to spoil ur mood, then click the "X" button on the top right of your windows. For those who insist of staying and continue reading it up, then it's up to you la. Dun tell me that I didn't warn you ya! Welcome to the world where i'll start whining about my so-un-glamarous years.

It was few minutes ago when I was reading one of my friend's blog where she get to watch movies til midnight, go yamchar after that, go party/clubbing at times, have a drink ( alchohol ) with her friends and even her dad. I knew I have been saying these non stop since I started blogging, but seriously I felt that my teenage-adultry years are so-un-glamarous at all. Somehow I felt a little different from my other friends who gets to have so much funs with their gangs. I want to experience it too u know.

Let's do some itsy bitsy analysis about my 20years of life so far. Hmmm, we shall start from form 4 then ( 16 years old ). I wasn't allowed to go to friend's party if it is at night, I wasn't allowed to go shopping with my buddies that often, I wasn't allowed to go for trip with my friends and so on. Well, since I was 16 at that time, probably it's still too young for me to hang around at wee hours. Now move on to 17 years old ( form 5 ). The same thing repeats except I'm allowed to go shopping with my best friend Valerie.

Let's skip 18 coz it will still be the same as 17. At 19, I have more fun than I used to be. I met a bunch of friends where we used to hang around during break hours at MP or DP, either go for shopping, lunch, movies or bowling. 19 years back, I didn't really get to experience these fun days so freely. Although there were some sneaking out moments but it's worth the risk to really get to have fun with my friends. At this age, I gained more freedom than before. My parents allowed me to go Philippines for NDC; and that was the moment I cherished the most because I get to be away from my family for 2weeks, get to travel so far without my family, get to meet new people and culture, get to come back early in the morning, get to first experience my first taste of alchohol, get to first experience how izzit feel to get tipsy (lol), get the chance to go into a pub, get to go through the airport gate by myself, get to learn how to take care of myself when they are not beside me and HELL YEAH I HAVE SO MUCH FUN!!!!! Moreover during our trip to Genting, I get to yamchar with Alex's friend at 2am, get to go to McD at Genting at 4am ordering a set of breakfast set. I felt.... I sense... FREEDOM. How nice izzit to hang out so often with ur frens, chit chating, gossiping, yamcha-ing, gaming at night.

Sad to say that all these only happened once in a blue moon, not more than that. I know that I shouldnt request for more as I did get to experience them at least once before; and I'm glad I got that golden chance for myself. I'm being selfish here as I want more.... more freedom where I can have much fun more often just like other people. Will my wish be granted? Now I kinda regret that I didn't wish for that during my birthday. There were no time for me to think of my birthday wishes, therefore I just wish that everyone around me will be happy alwiz. I have wasted a chance, perhaps I have to wait for next year to blow my 21st candle. The question is, will I get my freedom fully even if I touched 21 years old?? No one can give me a certain answer to that question. What I can do now is silently waiting for my day to come.... when will it come, I have no idea.

p/s : Hmmm.. it didnt turn out that bad rite? Well, I shall declare that this is not any emo post okay?

2 comments:

s.p.y said...

relax. ya got so many years ahead of u. ur parents are just being protective, that's all. be patient and things will go well. -smile-

daeren7 said...

first of all..i really wanna say thanks 4 wishin all ur frenz around u happy alwiz n waste dat wish....really appreaciate it....yeah i agree wit wat spy said...ur parents is juz being protective...more over u r da oni daughter in da hse...try to think it in another angle then mayb u wont feel so sad...4 example...u should b happy to have a parents dat care so much 4 me...some parents dun care bout their child at all...dun care wat they r doin n all...so b patient la ya..u will get da freedom in da future....~~happy alwiz~~